


A Moment of Vulnerability

by gaydaractivate04



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Homophobic Language, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Minor Original Character(s), POV Dean Winchester, POV Original Character, Suicide Attempt, Teen Winchesters (Supernatural), trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:06:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22062271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaydaractivate04/pseuds/gaydaractivate04
Summary: High school isn't always easy. For some people, it's the worst fucking years of their lives.But it gets better.It has to.In which Dean Winchester talks someone down from a roof top and stops pretending everything is okay.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 74





	A Moment of Vulnerability

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gunpowder_and_pearls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunpowder_and_pearls/gifts).



> Hey guys, just a warning, in case you didn't read the tags.
> 
> This fic has attempted suicide, along with mentions of self harm and abuse. It also contians some homophobic language. 
> 
> I'm sorry if this is triggering, please look out for the warnings.
> 
> Stay safe everyone.

The hallway echoed with the sounds of hundreds of students, all hurrying to get home, to go somewhere to eat or smoke, to get that homework assignment done. Adrian tried to tune it all out as he forced textbooks into his locker. It was a losing battle, the overcrowded metal container wasn’t gonna budge. He was so focused on this that he almost didn’t hear the approach of a certain group that he tried to avoid.

_Almost._

He spun around, pushing his locker shut as he swung his backpack onto his shoulders, the lock automatically reengaging when it slammed closed. His textbook was still in his hands, but that was less important than getting out of there. Adrian hunched down, making to go to the stairs, when a hand shot out and grabbed his bag, feet kicking to no avail as he was dragged back, if he could only _make it to the stairs_ -

Too late. A crowd of sneering faces with red and white jackets surrounded him, one reaching out and taking his backpack, the other knocking his textbook from his grip. A hand hit his chest, making him stumble backwards- _back and back and_ -hitting the cold row of lockers behind him, right where he started.

The leader of the group- _Todd Blaire_ -leaned forward, putting his face half a foot from Adrian’s.

“I saw you were flirting with my girl.” His tone was accusatory, leaving no room for argument.

Adrian sputtered, this was not what he expected. “What are you talking about? All I did was help her in chemistry, that’s it. I’d never flirt with her, I was just trying to-”

He was cut off when Blaire swung at him, right at his nose. He had no chance to dodge, couldn’t even drop to the ground, courtesy of Todd’s hand gripping his shoulder. No choice but to try and roll with it- _god knows he's had plenty of practice_ -but the jock hit harder then he’d thought, Adrian’s head snapping back and slamming into the metal behind him.

Bracing himself with one hand, the other clenched over his nose, trying to stem the flow of blood, he glared through a haze of tears. Beyond the immediate crowd of tormentors, the hallway was slowly filling as other students came to watch the show. _Because who the fuck_ doesn’t _want to see a puny junior get the crap kicked outta him by a bunch of tall ass football players._

Another boy leaned forward, his weaselly face twisted in a very impressive smirk. “Look at ‘im. He isn’t flirting with your girl, he ain’t flirting with any girls. He’s a fuckin f*g.” The others joined in the laughter, jeers coming from all sides. It was as if he was underwater and the rest of the school was on land, he was drowning, _drowning, drowningdrowningdrowning-_

Todd hesitated, clearly he wanted to stick with his argument, Adrian almost wished he would, at least then he could deny and defend and fight back without feeling like he was sabotaging himself. Then Blaire snickered, a patronizing look quickly growing on his face.

“A fucking pansy. I almost couldn’t tell.” His patted Adrian’s shoulder, a mockery of comradeship, shaking him a little as he laughed. The jock turned, calling over his shoulder to someone who stood at the edge of the circle, barely in the range of his peripheral vision. “Hey Dean, get over here! Look what we found!”

The name sounded familiar but he couldn’t place it until the other teen stood in front of him.

Dean Evans.

The most popular, athletic, sought after boy in the entire goddamn school. He’d only been at Austin High School for a couple weeks and was already a high ranking fuckboy, as Adrian’s friends called him. With his chiseled jawline, green eyes, and amazing form, he wasn’t very surprised that Dean had hordes of admirers.

Dean’s hands were stuffed in his pockets as he sauntered over, a faint smile on his face. He was taking headphones off his ears, hanging them around the tattered collar of his flannel. Todd beckoned him, their friends parting as he strode closer.

“A fucking fa**ot, in _our_ school.” Blaire spat out the last part, like it was _so fucking hard to comprehend_ and Adrian was some kinda _infestation_ that could be rid of by cruel words and hard fists. This certainly wasn’t the first time they’d called him this and they weren’t the first to start it either.

Was it his imagination, or did Dean stiffen at his friends words?

Dean stood for a moment, his eyes dark, before he swung around to face Adrian. His hands were no longer in the pockets of his faded jeans but clenched at his sides. For a moment he thought Dean was going to take a swing at Todd, anger clear on the lines of his face as he glanced over at him. Then Dean’s face relaxed, a large grin taking the place of his lingering smile as he looked once more towards Adrian.

Yep, it was his imagination. Here comes the asshole train! _Choo-choo!_

“Some pervert in our locker rooms?” The group behind him roared with laughter, like this _bastard_ was the funniest fuckin’ comedian in the entire world. “A f*g like you shouldn’t even be allowed to come into our school.”

_Choo-choo-choo!_

Adrian pushed himself upright, grabbing his bag from where it had been dropped on the floor, blindly pushing through the crowd. He did his best to ignore the shoves and jeers and _laughter_ from all sides as he raced down the hallway, forcing his way up the stairs. All the people were too suffocating and he couldn’t breathe _he couldn’t breathe couldn’tbreathecouldn’tbreathecoul-_

\---------------

Thank Jesus fuckin Christ, he was finally done with that make up quiz. Ms. Burmen was such a hardass. Just because Dean skipped _one goddamn question_ she made him redo the entire test. It had taken nearly an hour to complete and then he had to sit there while she read through each of his answers, _twice_ , like he’d somehow make one disappear after the first time.

God, he needed a smoke.

Dean headed towards the small stairway that led up to the roof, a known smoking hangout that would hopefully be empty by know. There was a football game today against Austin High’s biggest rival, a neighboring high school that apparently did not deserve the trophy they won last year. Almost everyone was going to be there, whether or not they actually cared about football.

Thankfully, the first door that blocked student’s access to the roof was very easy to pick and wasn’t usually locked.

He did one final sweep of the hallway, making sure there weren’t any teachers or goody two-shoes to get him in trouble before pulling the metal door open and shutting it quickly behind him. The stairs were also metal, a weird aluminum material- _because funding for construction went to sports_ -and one loud step would echo like a gunshot.

As he neared the top of the stairway, hands fumbling in his pocket for one goddamn cig he noticed that the door was open a crack.

Weird.

This one had two locks and the only people with the keys were custodians, school repairmen, and a couple people in the main office. So whoever the fuck was up here was administration. That’s just great.

Dean softened his footsteps even more, falling into a light hunter’s tread, his heavy boots making barely any sound as he eased the door open and peered around it.

The roof was empty. No tools, no tarps, nothing. He took a step into the open, knees bent and eyes scanning, ready to run at a moments notice.

No one.

Dean took another stride onto the roof, relaxing, almost ready to drop his bag and laugh at his previous caution when something moved in the corner of his eye.

Perched on the edge of the roof, leaning just a _little bit too far forward_ , was a boy. Dean vaguely recognized him, maybe he’d seen him in passing or from some class he didn’t give a crap about.

But as he drew a few feet closer- _still silent, he’s not an idiot_ -he realized who it was.

Adrian.

The boy from the hallway.

 _Fuck_.

Dean stumbled backwards, stepping into the narrow stairway and closing the door, hands shaking as he pulled out his phone. It took longer than usual to find the contact and call.

By some miracle, Dean had the phone number of a girl he knew was Adrian’s friend. He couldn’t remember how he’d gotten it, Anne sure as hell didn’t give it to him; she hated his guts.

He held the phone to his ear, fighting the urge to pace. It would only draw the attention of other students and he didn’t want that.

“Hi you’ve reached the voicemail of An-” Dean swore as he redialed. _Come on pick up pick up pickuppickuppickupcomeonecomeon_ -

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Dean.” His response was breathless and shaky. There was silence on the other end.

“Is this another one of your dumbass prank calls? Because if so, you can go fuck yourself. Bye.”

“No, please don’t hang up!” He heard her pause, a faint sigh coming through the phone’s sound system. “Please.”

“How did you even get my number?” She sounded more tired than confused. “It’s not important. I need you to listen to me.” He could practically _hear_ her roll her eyes on the other end.

“I’m already listening.” He heard the unspoken message: _I won’t be for much longer._

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself before he spoke into the phone. “Adrian is on the roof. It looks like he’s gonna jump.”

The other line was dead silent for a moment before a shout came through. “What?! You better not be screwing with me Evans, or I swear to god-”

“I wouldn’t joke about this.” Dean tried his best to sound sincere, Anne needed to believe him. “Look, I’m gonna try and talk to him. Do you know why he would be up there?”

“Try thinking back to an hour ago. You and your buddies? The hallway?” Realization hit Dean like a truck. Scratch that, _like a fucking train._

_He’s there because of me._

Dean cursed softly to himself before ending the call. He turned, stuffing his shaking hands in his pockets. Taking a deep breath, he ascended the stairs, making no effort to muffle his footsteps.

The steel door creaked as he opened, but it was what he wanted. He needed to announce himself, if he startled Adrian he could fall.

Or jump.

Shuffling his feet over the concrete, Dean slowly approached the edge of the roof. He stopped a few feet back and to the side of the boy who stood like he was taking in the view. Dean slid his backpack off his shoulder and attempted a vaguely conversational voice.

“See pretty far, can’t you?”

Adrian responded in a cold, low voice. “Stay back.” Dean glanced at him and found the younger boy glaring back, a very impressive scowl on his face. “Don’t touch me.”

“Wasn’t plannin’ on it.” His mind was racing, _what am I supposed to say how do I get him down how do I get him down how how howhowhow_

Dean swallowed down his anxiety, he needed to be calm. _Calm_. “Any particular reason you’re up here?”

Adrian snorted, leaning over the edge, peering past his feet to the ground. “You must be more oblivious than I thought.”

He denied the urge to lunge forward and yank him back, forcing his fisted hands to relax. “What do you mean?” _Gotta keep him talkin’, wait till his friends get here._

Adrian swayed even further forward, a smirk on his face. “You can’t even think of one reason? Not one goddamn reason? Not clue why a fucking pansy would do this?”

“Listen dude, I didn’t mean that.”

 _“Then why did you say it?”_ Dean heard the door clang open, bouncing violently off the wall, two pairs of footsteps rushing into the roof. Adrian spun around- _feet scraping the edge_ -a mixture of fear and anger on his face. “Stay away!”

Dean turned too, taking a couple steps towards Ann and the boy with her- _Taylor? Tyler? Some crap like that_ -holding his hands out in a stop motion.

“You need to stay back. He _will_ jump.” He kept his voice low and even, trying to diffuse the tension and anxiety in the air. Dean turned back to Adrian, who watched the exchange silently. “How about you sit down.”

“No.” He shook his head sharply. “Don’t try to make me.”

Dean eased himself closer, hands open and in front of him. “How about we all sit down, you can stay where you are and no one will try to pull you back. Is that alright?” Adrian looked like he was going to protest, but something on his friends faces must have changed his mind as he eased to the ground.

With a sharp glance from Dean, Adrian’s friends sat too but stayed on edge, ready to leap to their feet at any moment.

He slowly sat, just a couple of feet away from Adrian, hands bracing him on either side.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“With you? Hell no.”

“Is there someone else you want to talk to? Would you be more comfortable with your friends?” Dean made sure to keep his voice soft, body relaxed as best he could.

Adrian kicked his feet out, swaying dangerously. “No. They’ll just try to get me down.”

“Then is it alright to talk to me? It looks like I’m the best option.” He was praying- _praying_ -that Adrian would relent and let him help him.

“Looks like I don’t want any of the options.”

He’d be damned if he was gonna give up on one stubborn, hurting, _scared_ sonavabitch. He needed someway to connect. And he had one.

That didn’t mean he wanted to share it.

Dean looked to Adrian’s friends, their faces pale and worried. To Adrian, staring unfocused at the ground. And he knew he was gonna anyways.

He took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for what he had to do next. Vulnerability never came easy to the Winchesters. Dean moved a little closer to the edge, drawing his jacket off at the same time, placing it beside him on the concrete. He could see Adrian watching him out of the corner of his eye and pretended not to notice.

As he reached to pull off his flannel, he noticed something. His hands were shaking.

 _Shaking_.

That hadn’t happened for years.

Trying to ignore the feeling of bareness, _of wrongness_ , Dean pulled off his flannel. He had never taken it off in front of friends- _really, no one but Sammy_ -and always avoided looking at his arms in the morning. Avoided looking at the bruises, the scars.

Handprints, clearly an adults, were dark on his upper arms. Small, careful scars lined his forearms, some still fresh and new looking. Some recently scabbed over.

Dean took a deep breath and forced himself to look at Adrian. Adrian, who’s gaze was fixed his arms.

“Look, I get that you don’t want to talk with me. I know that I’m an asshole and probably always will be. But I’m here because I care. I made a mistake, a _huge_ fucking mistake joining in with those guys in the hallway.” He paused for a moment and looked Adrian directly in the eyes. “And I don’t want to see a body on the ground.”

Adrian responded in a harsh whisper. “How do you even know what you’re doing?”

“Because someone did this for me. Even if you don’t know it yet, you want to be saved.” Adrian was silent for a moment, then turned to face Dean, swinging his legs onto the roof _(thank God)_.

“Who gave you those bruises?” His tone was cautionary, as if he wasn’t sure if he could ask.

Dean eyed him for a moment before answering. “Tell you what. This will be a trade. I tell you something, then you tell me something.”

He was quiet for a few moments, Dean almost expected him to swing right back around, perch on the edge and tilt, but then he gave a single sharp nod.

“My dad. The bruises are from my dad.”

“You let him do that to you?”

“Nope, it’s my turn for a question.” Dean matched Adrian’s scowl, _you have to talk about this too, don’t matter how stubborn you are._ He watched him, waiting until Adrian glanced away and nodded again before toning down the glare. “Why are you up here?”

Adrian snorted. “That’s a pretty broad spectrum.”

“So narrow it down for me.” Dean ignored the sigh he got in response, ignored the looks coming from Anne and Tyler behind him, ignoring all the background as he focused on Adrian. “I can’t understand if you don’t say anything.”

“I’m gay.” The response was so quiet, a harsh whisper, that Dean barely heard. He spoke again, louder this time. “I’m gay and my parents won’t believe me and I come to school _every day_ and get mocked and kicked and laughed at for it.” He looked up at Dean, a challenging look on his face-I fucking dare you, you bigoted asshole, to say anything-and tilted his head towards Dean.

_Your turn._

“I have to let my dad do this to me. ‘Cause if I didn’t, if I fought back, he’d go after my little brother.” He tried to put as much honesty and compassion as he could into his voice as he spoke. “And I won’t let that happen.”

They were both silent for a moment, processing exactly what the other had said, had revealed.

Adrian was the first to speak, breaking the pattern of question for question. Dean didn’t stop him, as they spoke he seemed to be relaxing bit by bit, not quite as close to tipping off the edge.

“Your arms. Why do you cut them?”

_That was not a question he wanted to answer._

Adrian must have seen the hesitation on his face, but he didn’t back down. He didn’t trust Dean, and Dean had to give it to him; being that bold was impressive, especially in this situation.

“I’m bisexual.”

The roof was dead silent, he could have sworn they all stopped breathing.

“What?” Adrian voice cracked as the end, the word rising in volume very quickly. “Why the _fuck_ would you say all that shit in the hallway?”

“Because- _why? Why the hell would you do that?_ -they were all right there. Everyone. And I ain’t about to lose the only people in this goddamn school that actually talk to me, not try to flirt their way into my pants or refuse to look in my direction.” He felt his shoulders fall as he looked Adrian in the face again. “Because I was scared. And that’s a shit excuse, I know, believe me, _I know_. But I couldn’t seem to stop myself.”

He stared back at Dean, stony faced.

And Dean could see the crack in his armour.

Just the _tiniest_ sliver of hopelessness in his eyes, the way he held his shoulders- _squared, like waiting for a blow_ -and Dean knew he needed to end this quickly.

“Listen. You need some help, someone to talk to, someone who is a professional.”

Adrian immediately stiffened, knuckles whitening where they were clenched. His gaze locked on the ground below him, shifting a little as he watched the people on the ground.

_If only they would look up._

“If you don’t want to tell your parents, tell your teachers, I get that. But at least talk to the school counselors.”

“Why should I?” if his voice had been sharp before, now it was as flat and even as a river stone. Devoid of emotion.

“Look around you. Look who came for you.” He waved his hands towards Adrian’s friends, who had somehow moved closer without Dean noticing. _(You’re slippin boy, gettin’ too used to civilian life. It ain’t good for a hunter)_ “Your friends want you to be okay. Your teachers, classmates, people you’ve helped in the passing, they _all_ want you to be okay.”

He kept his hands loose, movements easy as he slid a little closer- _to try and catch him? Pull him from the ledge?_ -“Your parents, even if you don’t think they do, want you to be _okay_. Hell, I’m up here and I barely know you.” Dean tried to get his attention, tried to pull his blank gaze away from the fall as he leaned forward. “Because I’ve seen you help people. You paid for Lisa’s lunch last week when she forgot her money. _She told me_ _._ You tutor at least three people who’d be droppin’ out of highschool if weren’t for you. Sarah in biology. Ryan in math.”

“But I’m _not_ okay.”

“That’s why you have people to help you. To help you get to where you feel okay.” Adrian looks to him now, tears dripping down his cheeks. “Please. Come down from the edge.”

No one moved.

Then, inch by inch, with painstaking care, Adrian swung his legs around.

Stepped away from the edge.

Dean moved out of the way as Tyler and Anne come barrelling forwards, crushing the other boy in a sobbing, shaking hug. He watched for a moment before slipping his jacket and flannel back on, finger combing his hair into a perfectly messy style. He quietly closed the metal door as he left, scooping up his bag and heading down the stairs. Dean tries to ignore the shaking of his hands and how he can finally breathe again.

But he can’t stop now, can’t take a break. So he slaps a smirk on his face and heads out of the school.

He’s got a little brother to pick up.

\---------------

That Monday, Adrian goes to the office. Dean hadn’t shown up to any of his classes- _Anne has history with him and Tyler has English_ -and he needed to figure out where he is.

The office lady gives him a sad smile over her computer when she finishes typing in 'Dean Evans'. “Sorry honey, he left the school.”

“Left? What do you mean _left_?”

“He’s moved away.” She gives Adrian a confused little frown. “Are you his friend? Did he not tell you?”

Adrian leaves without answering.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all. This is my first fanfiction that I actually put some effort into. Hope it wasn't too crappy...
> 
> Been looking for this sort of stuff for a while and couldn't find any, so I decided to write one myself. 
> 
> Also: Happy New Year
> 
> Please leave a comment about what you thought! :)


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